After returning home from our honeymoon abroad, Jason and I decided it was time to start a family. We’d been together for nearly eight years, married close to three, and it felt like the right time. This being our first, I decided to document my experience trying to conceive, what I learned along the way, and my weekly progress growing our family one finger and toe at a time. This is my pregnancy diary.
My eleventh week again started exhausted and without my husband. My rescue pup, Ace, had spent the previous night throwing up, and I barely got any sleep. So I started the week even more anxious and sleepy than expected.Monday was especially hard for me because I was really struggling to manage my anxiety around being pregnant (see my Week 10 Diary to learn why
). I was on the verge of tears pretty much all day—giving into them twice, in fact—and the only thing keeping me going was looking forward to my OB/GYN appointment that afternoon.Now, remember I told you the last week I had to call to confirm my appointments and they had them all mixed up? Well, on that call, the physician's assistant had insisted I keep my appointment on the 22nd and that it would NOT include an ultrasound—just a Doppler reading of the baby's heartbeat. I initially wanted to change that appointment to the following week because I thought it included an ultrasound and I wanted Jason to be there the first time we actually saw the baby; but she said it wouldn't be an ultrasound at all. So I kept it.Well, she was wrong. And I'm so happy she was. I got to see my baby for the first time: its head, arms, legs, little body, and flickering heart. It's 2.5 inches long, and the heart is beating at a strong 150 bpm. I face-timed Jason but he wasn't able to get out of his meeting to see the baby in real time, so I took video for him, even capturing the baby waving to us!
Seeing our baby definitely made this more real for me, and helped me rationalize all the changes I'm making: they're clearly for a baby now, not just a spec of cells! I'm sure I will still struggle a bit, but this nice little reminder of the miracle I'm creating doesn't hurt.SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave